Grief can be complicated at the best of times but when we add in holidays it can turn into
feelings of despair and loneliness.
Like many others, I have dealt with navigating new and old grief over the holidays. It's taken time for me to feel comfortable with continued traditions and some new traditions. I've made a choice in my grief journey to use the holidays as a time of remembrance and remind myself of the joy that comes in moments. It has been helpful in managing my emotions and taking space for myself in such a hectic time. We all choose to grieve in different ways and the most important way is acknowledging those needs.
It can be tricky when we place expectations on ourselves, some that may look like continuing
traditions, visiting family members, adjusting to a new normal, etc. There is no perfect answer for how we're supposed to deal with grief.
There can be helpful things to remember during the holiday season. Whether we choose to spend it alone or with our loved ones, it's important to remember only to do things that feel right for you. There's no expectation to have everything go back to the way it was. Using the time to lean on support can be beneficial for more than just yourself. It’s okay to acknowledge your feelings no matter what you are feeling.
Some tips for dealing with grief over the holiday season:
1. Listen to your needs. It’s okay to make choices that work for you, you don’t owe your
time to anyone else.
2. Reach out for support. Friends, family, support groups, etc. can be great support networks.
3. Honour the people that have passed.
4. Keep yourself busy. (Pick up a hobby, read a book, do something you love)
5. Be flexible in your expectations.
6. Give yourself and others permission to grieve.
7. Self-care habits.
8. Communicate your needs and boundaries. People won’t know what you’re feeling unless
you share.
"Grief is not a disorder, a disease, or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical, and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve."
- Earl Grollman
Needing some support during the holidays? Click here to book a free virtual consultation with one of our therapists!
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Written by: Alexandria Testani RSW
Alexandria is a registered social service worker, currently completing her masters of social work at Wilfrid Laurier University. She works with adults in a variety of areas, including grief and loss, anxiety and depression, self-esteem and worth, and more. Alexandria is currently accepting new clients.